Saturday, February 27, 2010

my first crush, the best of all

My first crush ....... how beautiful she is... i cant explain in words , she is as soft as a rose petal ,as beautiful as a sun rise , my heart starts pounding at her sight [144 beats per min ;) ], my breathing stops for a while, my eyes sparkle at that moment ,phenyl ethynl amine is released from my nerves, all my inside goes funny ,my soul starts spinning inside me, and how should i describe me when she starts talking and staring at me .................I FELL LIKE THE KING OF THE WORLD as if i am Alexander the great and i fullfilled my wish by conquering this entire world, as if i am the Hitler and won the second worldwar.....the first time she talked to me was the day when i won the (karate) silver medal and took the same from my principal in the assembly, in front of 2000 students praising with their claps , but still i could here the sound of only two hands , she tapped me on my cheek and said " well done , very good", it is the second i couldn,t belive my self.
As time passed we became friends , i never said my feelings to her ,, rather tried to behaved normally whenever i am with her. i used to sit in the back bench of the next row to her;s , i used to stare at her through the corner of my cornea, enlarging my pupil to allow the maximum light to enter my eye, half attentive to the classes, dreaming at day times and so on........
I always used to think , does this feeling last for ever?? do we have a scientific explanationf for this feelings, i got the answer after 7 years ,, its a chemical called phenyl ethyl amine and its sister chemicals that are secreated from your nervous sytem which makes you to feel like that, the bad thing is it dosent last for ever.... and why do you have a crush only on a particular person and why not on the one sitting beside her??? itz because of the elements that u like in her , my be her beauty, her voice, eyes , behaviour anything u like in her...
These feelings dosent last for ever and its the same in my case too...but another important thing is they started again when i started seeing other girl(s) and that is the reason i called it crush and not love...does love last for ever ?? i dont know the answer ,but how could a couple live together forever or say 3/4th of their life time after marriage, do they simply adjust with each other or is this phenyl ethyle amine being secreated for ever??? should we mix science and love ?? i will always be thinking about that,,will i get an answer forever in my life time..... let me hope so........
I can never distinguish between love and crush because i dont know the meaning of the either and i cant differentiate between them for sure... so instead of loving someone i will be waiting for the someone who loves me and i hope i ll find her soon:)

.........................................................................................................................................................venky:)